The
Accidental Writer: A Memoir
Didn't
know rules of grammar; became a writer
Had a vasectomy; became a dad
Liked cats; became a dog lover
I'd
like to call this a "no-holds-barred" memoir, but I must confess to
barring a few holds. Still, in addition to how I accidently became a
writer, dad and dog
lover (even
though I don't know the rules of grammar
...
had a vasectomy in my twenties ... and grew up loving cats), The
Accidental Writer
has
sex, violence (if
a kid getting kicked in the nuts is violent
enough for you) and,
unfortunately, Multiple Sclerosis. Plus you can read about several of
the spectrums on which at different places we all find ourselves.
Written by successful freelance writer, author, and writing instructor Paul Lima, The Accidental
Writer is in
large part a memoir, with a whole lot of autobiography tossed in. It
is, in short, a fun romp through a relatively dull life.
But why tell you about it when I can let the introduction
to the book speak for
itself.
Introduction to The Accidental Writer
I have been one of Canada's most successful freelance writers and one
of the country's most successful freelance trainers. Now before
freelance writers and trainers who have been more successful than I
have been say, "Hey, wait a minute. Not as successful as me!" please
reread my opening line. I said "one of Canada's most," not "the most."
In other words, I've done well for myself.
I
started out as a full-time copywriter way back when, became a freelance
journalist and then a six-figure freelance corporate writer and author
of over
a dozen books on
business writing, promotional writing, online writing and the business
of freelance writing. When I added training (business writing,
promotional writing, online writing and media interview preparation) to
the list of services that I offered, my income soared to even greater
heights.
But why am I using past tense here? As of this writing, I am 64 years
old. I have multiple sclerosis (MS), and it's fair to say that I am
more retired than not retired, although I teach online writing courses
for the University of Toronto and conduct the occasional writing
webinar. But for the most part, I am simply having fun writing this
memoir and researching my next book, The
Atheist Chronicles.
The
fact is, as well as I have done, I am an accidental writer. I am also
an accidental dad and an accidental dog lover. Stick with me, because
this book will explain it all. And it will take more than a few
digressions into other aspects of my life.
Some
people might call this book a memoir; some might call it an
autobiography. There is a difference, or so I've been told by writers
who are more knowledgeable about such things. But just as there is a
difference, there is also a spectrum when it comes to writing like
this. The spectrum might have a strict definition of memoir at one end
and of autobiography at the other, but there is a heck of a lot of room
in between the ends for writing that is a bit of both or somewhat more
of one and less of the other.
It's
kind of like the different spectrums in life -- gender, sexual
orientation, careers, mental health, physical health (such as my
Multiple Sclerosis) and other facets of who we are. I am, we all are,
at various places on different spectrums. For instance, I am male and
heterosexual, but there has been a tiny bit of same sex experimentation
in my life and there is a whole lot of stereotypical male stuff that I
avoid and am not good at doing. In fact, if you were to invoke
stereotypes you might say that I have a strong feminine side when it
comes to gender. I am definitely male, but gender is complex. According
to the Merriam Webster dictionary, gender identity is "a person's
internal sense of being male, female, some combination of male and
female, or neither male nor female." In fact, Facebook provides more
than 50 options beyond "male" and "female" for users to describe their
gender identity, from "gender questioning" and "neither" to
"androgynous."
That's
quite the spectrum, just one of a myriad of spectrums that make up our
lives. However, I digress in a manner that has nothing to do with my
becoming an accidental anything. To be clear, I do feel this book
belongs somewhere on that spectrum, the literary one, not the gender or
sexual orientation one. It is a memoir about how I became a writer and
dad and dog lover. But it is also an autobiography, one that leaves out
a heck of lot of autobiographical stuff about me. So this work fits
somewhere on one of the many literary spectrums that are out there.
But
before we get on with my memoir, here is a bit about memory, which is
an important component of this book. Memory does not work like a DVD
waiting to be played. It is not stored like a video file waiting to be
downloaded or streamed. Memories are formed in networks across the
brain and every time that they are recalled they can be altered. (At
least that is what I've read about memory.) I know people whose
memories are much more vivid than mine are. They are much more emphatic
about what they remember. For instance, many people know exactly where
they were when they heard that president John Fitzgerald Kennedy (JFK)
was assassinated. I haven't got a clue where I was. But a friend of
mine remembers, and I am in his memory. So we were at the same place at
the same time. He says we were walking home from public school when
several boys walking down the street stopped us and told us the news.
It
was November 22, 1963. I was nine years old, about to turn ten in four
days, and in grade four. I was not in a great mood because an aunt was
getting married on November 26, my birthday. That meant I would not be
having a birthday party because I would be at her reception. So I
remember being peeved that there would be no birthday party for me; I
do not recall hearing that JFK had been assassinated. Priorities.
On
the other hand, I remember where I was when I heard the news in the
early 1980s that a passenger jet had been shot down. I was working as a
copywriter for Radio Shack, the company that is now known as The
Source. I remember feeling depressed about the loss of life. Who would
kill all those innocent people and why? However, I don't remember how I
heard this news, what country the downed plane belonged too (although
South Korea comes to mind) or what country shot it down (I have a
nagging feeling that it was Russia, but I could be wrong).
So
why remember some things and not others? Why have holes of various
sizes in some of the things that I remember? For instance, I remember
where I was on 9/11 and how I heard the news that planes had crashed
into the World Trade Center in New York. I also remember who I
immediately told about it. So perhaps what we remember has to do with
age and with what else is going on in life at a particular time, as
much it does with the event itself. As in I can't remember what I had
for lunch yesterday, but if a major political figure or famous person
had died yesterday, I suspect I'd remember that. Unless lunch was
particularly scrumptious.
With
that in mind, many of the memories in this book are suspect. In some
ways, this book feels like a work of fiction; I feel like I'm making up
characters and events. But I can assure you that this book is
non-fiction. I am not lying, at least not deliberately. This book is
me, as best as I can remember myself, becoming a writer… a
dad... a dog lover. All accidentally.
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Contents
Contents
1 / Introduction
2 / Boring Boy
3 / Give a Shout
4 / Beyond Button Sucking
5 / Egg Heads of 404
6 / Me, An Editor?
7 / Idiot Things I Have Done
8 / Candy Store Man
9 / Games Daddy Played
10 / Dust Bunnies
11 / Amusing Myself
12 / My Year Off
13 / Accidental Paid Writer
14 / Becoming A Freelance Writer
15 / Accidental Trainer
16 / Accidental Dad
17 / Accidental Dog Lover
18 / MS and Me
19 / What I Miss Most
20 / Epilogue
About the Author
Paperback*
Amazon.ca: $CND
10.55
Amazon.com: $US
7.95
Amazon
UK: 6.25 pnd
eBook*
Amazon.com: Kindle $US
2.99
Amazon.ca: Kindle $Cnd
4.00
Amazon
UK: Kindle 2.35
pnd
Kobo.com: ePub $Cnd
2.99
Lulu.com: PDF $2.99US
*
All prices subject to change.
Other
books
by Paul Lima
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